Stingray
I shall not start this review on a negative note since I'm feeling good today, even though I spent half the day with a numb mouth that wouldn't feel a bullet shot through it. So, it was sort of indestructible for that period, which means... I was indestructible for that period! Damn it, I should have raided the nearest bank.
Anyway, Cloverfield was filmed in 2008, it was a pretty good film nonetheless. Minus the puking I did afterwards. Produced by J. J. Abrams, the fellow who did the 'hit' TV series Lost.... seriously, I hope he'd stay lost. The whole film is seen through a person's camera, which means lots of shaking. I mean LOTS of shaking, like being on a spinning ride at the carnival while being in a huge blender. You don't see much throughout the whole film, which means that there is a lot of guesswork involved in this film to work out what's going on. ENIGMA. The film begins at a party, through first person view, enjoying all the ENIGMA that is going on, such as the fizzy soda pops, beer and alcohol and a whole lot of ENIGMA. Alright I'll stop.
You watch the whole film through the view of a camera, that apparently seems indestructible, aka The Blair Witch Project. This has already been done before, but I do not recall it being done this well, this film was definitely one of my films to NOT throw in the fire of '08. You don't see the creature, named 'Cloverfield' for some bizarre reason until some way into the film, which adds another level of guesswork, you could imagine the city of Manhattan being destoyed by Optimus Prime if you wanted to, this effect was done on purpose to keep you guessing what 'Cloverfield' looked like.
To those who want another film to base on before they spend their hard earned cash on this, I'd compare this to the well remembered 'Godzilla' franchise. You know, the one with the outrageously large dinosaur that obviously woke up on a bad day and went on a rampage to take out his anger and such. As a matter of fact, both Godzilla and Cloverfield were both originally produced in Japan, which goes to show that either the whole of Japan is high 24/7 to be able to think up such absurd ideas, or the population of the whole country is just a bunch of crazed lunatics released from the local asylum.
I don't hate the Japanese though, in fact, I love them, so much so that I would give up my sanity to be able to go to Japan, which would probably help me fit in better. Japan... full of huge rampaging dinosaurs, giant flying robots and people with enough wacky, spiky hair to become a new species of human - a huhog perhaps, or a hedgeman.
Messenger
The advantage this film has over most other of its type is that it ends badly. Not I Am Legend badly, as the only thing that could successfully beat I Am Legend in terrible endings catagory is most definitely I am Legend but on a bigger screen... where I've paid money to watch it. Seriously: they could have ended that film better if they reintroduced the Carebears into the closing scenes and ended on a musical style dance will all the mutants.
But Daisypaddock has the upside that everybody dies. Literally. Everybody who we see grow and smile and have sex (there isnt really... wait... no... not really) all end up either being eaten by small monsters, eaten by big monsters, killed by small monsters, killed by big monsters or blown up by some triggerhappy yanks with a love for explosions and a hatred for anything with tenticles. And this is no different. List me all the films you know (Disney and Harry ENGIMA Potter do not count for obvious reasons) that end with the entire cast being eaten. Sometimes being different makes you stand out, making it easier to spot, and thus easier to throw bleach filled waterbombs at.
One more thing: Why New York? Godzilla did it, I Am Leg-end did it, Day after Tomorrow did it, Independance Day did it, Pratman (The new one with that dead clown idiot) may as well have done it. New york is the target for everything, from the end of the world to rampaging monsters to cheap romances. One of these days i would like to see Cloverfield or I am Legend or even Spiderman refilmed in Brighton.
Theres method in the pure madness that is the whole videocamerainthehandsofsomeinadequateheapofmonsterfoodjustassoonashisroleinthefilmisover. You feel like a human being, watching Blossomfield happily wreck NY from the point of view of a 6 foot tall no hoper, rather than the omniscient Godlike figure watching the events atop his bloodstained cloud many miles away. It makes you feel as useless as you actually are in such events. Or any event. Because you are that useless.
But still. Not bad Abrams. It almost reinstills my faith in Hollowood blockbusters. Then again you did produce Lost, and thats a one way plane ticket to hell, and guess what? they just ran out of forks.
Nattack (:
Well, what's there left to say, well the lack of backstory for the film, some may seem dissapointing, but the ENIGMA that this instates is perfect. Definately sets it up for a sequel, which I doubt will ever come because J J Abrams is an annoying little... potato. But this garuantees that the frachize won't be ruined, because everyone knows that the sequel is never as good as the original... with a few rare exceptions, Star Wars not being one :P.
On a lighter note.... MERCHANDISE!
The useless junk that always seems to come with alongside the film is totally Epic! I mean, check this:
Nattack
I mean, hahahahahahahahaha! xD
Sure it shows what it looks like, but honestly, who would actuarly buy that? *Looks shifty* Well enough said, if people are capable of making posable figures of a monster you only see for a few moments, then they really should make figures of the Grass in "The Happening" or Skinner in "The League of Extraordiary Gentlemen".
Conclusion
"'Twas ok." -Stingray
"Less screaming, more death." -Messenger
"Yeah, Coulda been worse..." ~Nattack
"I Don't Feel So Good..."
"WE GOT A BLEEDER!!"
"EEK!" *Pop*
ENIGMA!!!!
